Sitting at the corner, refreshing memories, when everything related to him is scattered on the floor.
Photos of us were scattered everywhere, I pick them up one by one, organized them into an album I made myself.
Warm tears started flowing, as I look at our photo.
The tears I cried rolled down my cheeks, gently caressing the surface of the photograph in my hands.
Wiping the teardrops that fell onto the photo, I started to cry even more.
My whole body is weaken, the photos slipped off my hand, I fell completely to the ground.
I went to the karaoke alone, singing all the sweetest love songs, and the saddest lonely songs.
I cried the most while singing this song (祝我生日快乐).
Suddenly, my shaken and broken voice disappeared, as I stopped singing, hugged my knees and cried.
I look at the small piece of cake that I bought for myself.
I lighted up the candle with a lighter.
I watched the flame danced, burning the candle down.
I blew the candle, and started eating.
My tears flowed again when I taste the first spoonful of the cake.
I stuffed another spoonful, and another, and another.
Eventually, I stuffed the rest of the cake in my mouth and started crying even more.
I took my car keys and drove down the road, without having any destination in mind.
Without any specific direction, not even an idea where am I heading to.
I stepped on the accelerator as hard as I could, speeding and beating the red lights.
With the heavy flow of tears, my emotions became even more unstable and I wasn’t able to think consciously.
Without knowing how, I reached the gate of his house.
I stopped by the roadside, and look into his house.
Memories again haunted me.
My fingers ran to the door handle of my car, preparing to get down.
Slowly, I pulled the handle and pushed the door.
Everything paused for a moment, only my bleeding heart is still pumping and my stubborn tears are still flowing.
I shut my eyes tight and slammed the door real hard, started the engine and drove away.
I cried even more, drove to the other neighborhood, stopped by the roadside and cried.
The clock strikes twelve, “Happy Birthday” I said to myself.
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