'Happy' Birthday...

Saturday

16th May 2oo9

没有吴健豪的第311天

Sitting at the corner, refreshing memories, when everything related to him is scattered on the floor.

Photos of us were scattered everywhere, I pick them up one by one, organized them into an album I made myself.

Warm tears started flowing, as I look at our photo.

The tears I cried rolled down my cheeks, gently caressing the surface of the photograph in my hands.

Wiping the teardrops that fell onto the photo, I started to cry even more.

My whole body is weaken, the photos slipped off my hand, I fell completely to the ground.

 

I went to the karaoke alone, singing all the sweetest love songs, and the saddest lonely songs.

I cried the most while singing this song (祝我生日快乐).

Suddenly, my shaken and broken voice disappeared, as I stopped singing, hugged my knees and cried.

I look at the small piece of cake that I bought for myself.

I lighted up the candle with a lighter.

I watched the flame danced, burning the candle down.

I blew the candle, and started eating.

My tears flowed again when I taste the first spoonful of the cake.

I stuffed another spoonful, and another, and another.

Eventually, I stuffed the rest of the cake in my mouth and started crying even more.

 

I took my car keys and drove down the road, without having any destination in mind.

Without any specific direction, not even an idea where am I heading to.

I stepped on the accelerator as hard as I could, speeding and beating the red lights.

With the heavy flow of tears, my emotions became even more unstable and I wasn’t able to think consciously.

Without knowing how, I reached the gate of his house.

I stopped by the roadside, and look into his house.

Memories again haunted me.

My fingers ran to the door handle of my car, preparing to get down.

Slowly, I pulled the handle and pushed the door.

Everything paused for a moment, only my bleeding heart is still pumping and my stubborn tears are still flowing.

I shut my eyes tight and slammed the door real hard, started the engine and drove away.

I cried even more, drove to the other neighborhood, stopped by the roadside and cried.

The clock strikes twelve, “Happy Birthday” I said to myself.

ஐAre-O-Pee-Age-Eh-End-Eye-Eeஐ

I'm crying...